14 May 2032 @ 05:17 pm
I might as well actually do this, if I'm going to be going out and meeting people who then ask for my lj nick. :)

So then.

This livejournal is Friends Only these days. I am, however, pretty relaxed about friending people and being friended, so feel free to add me.

I will warn that I don't check to see who has added me often, so if you really want me to notice NOWNOWNOW you should probably comment here and say "hey! you! friend me back!" :) (If we've met in real life, reminding me who you are is probably also a good idea, because my memory for names is awful. I have friends I've known for YEARS who I think of soley by online nick and have to check on real names for.)

Anyway, yes. Hello and so on.
26 June 2009 @ 11:23 pm
Minor PSA:

While I appreciate that people are trying to educate themselves about the psychological effects of trauma, as a result of the whole warnings thing, I would like to make one thing very clear:

You DO NOT have to be a survivor of a sexual trauma to have triggers.

Those are the individuals that this discussion has focused on, yes, because of the sheer number of people likely to have experienced some type of sexual trauma, and because much fanfic is specifically sexual in nature, and because issues of sexual consent were involved in both of the fics that started the entire thing off. However, triggers (and PTSD, and other issues) are as a result of the way some people's brains deal with a TRAUMA, full stop.

Please make careful note of this so that I can stop reading people trying to earnestly educate people about triggers and PTSD whilst completely dismissing/denying the existence of people who might have these issues as a result of other types of trauma. (I find this particularly ironic given that there's already a huge bunch of people who think that the only group who can get PTSD are soldiers who've been in battle.)

If you wish to specifically address what things might trigger sexual trauma survivors, that's fine. I'm not expecting someone to write a PhD thesis listing all the possible situations which might result in triggers and what those triggers may be. Just don't be phrasing things in such a way that everyone you've educated with your piece is going to think that anyone else who claims to have PTSD (say... ME) is lying or trying to play the victim card, because since I haven't been sexually assaulted or abused, I cannot possibly have PTSD because the internet says so.
25 June 2009 @ 10:49 pm
Yet another post related to warning-gate, but not actually about warnings.

I get not having the mental/emotional energy to deal with any given social issue being talked about. I do. There's plenty of things where I sit on the sidelines and read, or just skip over entirely because I just have too much shit going on in my life and in my head to deal. It's just not fair or reasonable to expect everyone to have energy to deal with everything all the time. (In fact, it's quite ablist, from a certain point of view.)

That said:

While I understand the urge to say "oh my god, AGAIN?" when a new round of discussion starts up about issue 57C that most people in fandom have seen before - it's INCREDIBLY dismissive to follow that up with "we've already had this conversation, no one is going to say anything new, why don't you all just shut up?" - I think it's also kind of offensive to say that in light of the context of this particular thing, given how much our society pressures survivors of sexual trauma (and, in fact, many people with mental illness in general) to suck it up, shut up, and go away.

Because even when the subject is the same, the discussion is NOT. Fandom is not a fixed group of people. People come and go in fandom all the time, and with new people come new ideas, new experiences, new attitudes, new approaches to things. Every iteration of an argument within fandom serves to educate some percentage of people, exposes people to new ideas, or new perspectives on old ideas, etc. The central issue may not be resolved, but that does not mean that the process itself lacks value.

So, y'know. Don't participate. That's fine. (And I will yell at anyone who makes statements like "anyone not participating in this is -ist" because that statement is in itself ablist, because it assumes that everyone CAN participate and that's not a reasonable assumption.) But don't dismiss the entire thing as pointless or a waste of time, either.

(And if you need this to be more personal/specific - how do you think it makes people who've come forward, even anonymously, during this most recent discussion to talk about their own experiences with sexual trauma, or other trauma/ptsd issues in an effort to help educate, to be effectively told "your efforts in sharing that painful thing for you have no value whatsoever, because all I want to do is think about jared and jensen fucking like bunnies."? Really, people do not post about their experiences without it having some cost to them. Do not tell them there is no value to that by saying no one cares; they hear that enough everywhere else, they don't need to hear it in fandom, too.)
21 November 2008 @ 08:57 pm
I got my holiday cards today and they are very nice, so:

If you would like a holiday card from me this year, even if you think I have your address, even if you won't be sending them out yourself, you know the drill.

Address and preferred name in the comments, which will be screened. :)
31 January 2008 @ 07:54 pm
Am having no luck whatsoever finding an actor for my film. Am having serious panic issues. Is not good. (Said panic issues are making the whole thing worse, because I'm so wound up about not finding anyone that I can't make myself do things which are normally minorly-panic-inducing anyway, like make a telephone call.)

Have now managed to convince myself that I will not find anyone, and even if I do, no one will be availible for the weekend of Feb 9-10 anyway.

Go, my brain. (I don't THINK I've been forgetting to take my anti-depressants...)

Anyway. If you are in Pittsburgh or know someone in the Pittsburgh area who might be interested, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know/get them to email me at

I am looking for someone (male or female) who can appear to be in their 20-30s, and a visible member of a cultural subgroup generally regarded as being 'suspicious' or 'up to no good' and 'unlikely to have graduated college' like punks, gang-member-ish, or possibly goth.

(Generally, I do not think goths come across as suspicious because they're too busy being emo to do anything, but this film IS set in a cemetary, so maybe they have problems with goths hanging out and smoking and stealing things.) (Note that the character is not actually up to no good, but has in fact graduated college with honors, in case someone is worried about making their cultural group look bad.)

Filming will be Feb 9 and 10 during the day. I am hoping to get filming done entirely on the 9th, since the finished film is only a maximum of 2 minutes, but I need availibility on the 10th just in case.

I cannot really afford to pay my actor, but I will spring for drinks/snacks while filming and some form of dinner afterwards.

Please feel free to pass this along to anyone you know who might be interested, post it on mailing lists or other lj groups which I am not on, whatever. Contact addy again is

So, yes. Help me, obi-flist? You're my only hope!
01 November 2007 @ 01:53 am
Right, everyone else is starting to do it, and I'm a sheep. (Also, I try to write my letter on Nov 5, so really I should get cracking on organizing this whole production.)

So. If you want a card from me this year, please leave a comment with your address and preferences (I think this year most of mine are just Happy Holidays, but if a Christmas card or something will specifically offend you, please let me know.) (Heck, I think I know a couple of peopel offended by Happy Holidays. :) ) (Also, you can leave a pairing/fic prompt request. I make no promises, but I might get around to writing a few little ficlets.)

Comments are screened, or you can email me at with 2007 Holiday Card addy in the subject so I can find it amidst all the freaking spam. :)

If you have posted an address request yourself and have noticed I have not commented, please also drop me a link to your post. I haven't always been keeping up on my flist. :)

Also! I do not mind sending out cards that are not reciprocated (I do it all the time, my mom's family is awful about that stuff) so do not worry if you are not planning to do cards yourself! Give me your address anyway! :)
16 October 2006 @ 09:44 pm
In other news, two things:

I can't be bothered doing a poll, so UK folks, please comment when would be a good date for you between now and Nov 20th for an informal get-together at a pub or something in London so I can see you all one last time before I head off. (not that I won't be back over, but it'll be visits only.)

Also, it's a bit early, but with the moving and everything I figure I'd better get a start on... Holiday cards!

If you got one from me last year and haven't moved, I still have your address. If you HAVE moved, or didn't get one and would like to, please comment (comments screened) with your address, name you want used, and any other relevent information. (E.g. "Please don't send me Christmas cards, they offend me horribly, I prefer a season's greetings/happy holidays.")
09 October 2006 @ 01:25 pm
Aww. Someone sent me a flower on lj. :) Fanks anonymousperson. :)
04 March 2006 @ 04:39 pm
Psst. Wanna donate some money someplace it'll make a difference?

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